Wanted:
Naughty Little Girl
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Brown
Weight: 19 lbs.
Height: 29 1/2 inches
Age: 1 year old
The suspect is being charged with cell phone murder in the first degree, five counts of rock possession and one count of rock ingestion.
On April 28, at approximately 1:50 p.m., the suspect reportedly threw her mother's cell phone into their family pool, thereby ending the cell's life. While the mother frantically tried to revive the cell, the suspect then hightailed it to the nearby rock bed to do a crawl-by rock grabbing. When authorities were able to take control of the situation, the suspect was found with five rocks in her possession. However, before all five rocks could be confiscated and the suspect taken into custody, the suspect was quick and able to ingest one of the rocks.
The suspect is a repeat offender of rock possession and a danger to the cell phone society. Further, suspect's mother reported the suspect had no remorse for the loss of the cell's life and fought authorities in their efforts to remove the ingested rock from the suspect's mouth.
Please note that the suspect is out on bail at this time but is wanted in other jurisdictions for such things as drinking while wagon riding and blowing kisses without a permit.
If you happen to see the suspect with rocks or cell phones in her possession, please contact authorities immediately.
2 comments:
My investigative background tells me that you will have to put Kennedy on probation since this is her first offense. But next time she will have to go to bed without dinner.
If she doesn't straighten up soon, I'll take her off your hands.
Post a Comment